“Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth.” – Colossians 3:2
My husband’s grandmother died this very recently. Betty was such a classy lady. She was kind, thoughtful, and always spoke in compliments. She dressed beautifully. And, she smiled. She seemed to always be smiling.
The past 3 years for her hadn’t been easy. She had Alzheimer’s and didn’t get around well. Because of that, she also had severe depression and anxiety. And yet, when she was with us, her huge family, she was happy.
Every time that I saw her, she gave me a hug and told me how beautiful I was and how great my hair smelled. Compliments and positivity, that’s what she fed us all when she was around.
When she died, we all got together at an aunt’s home, and no one cried. Everyone looked at pictures, told stories, and just chatted. I have never seen people lose someone so close to them and be at peace.
Talking to my mother-in-law, I was flabbergasted at how everyone seemed to really be okay. They were happy and joyful, a damper didn’t seem to be hanging over the group.
My mother-in-law said that they knew that her mom was happy now and that she wasn’t suffering anymore. They were at peace because they were so confident that she was at peace. Grandmommy was now with her husband and other family. Most importantly, grandmommy was dancing and praising Jesus. They knew for a fact that she was saved, and that she was in heaven now. They also knew that they would see her again one day because they were saved too. So they would miss her, but she was so much better off in heaven than she was suffering down here.
Everyone was peaceful, everyone was okay.
I’ve never seen anyone so peaceful after losing a family member. I know that they will all grieve in their own way over not having her in their everyday lives anymore. And I know that we all experience grief differently. But the PEACE that enveloped the entire family was palatable. They had that peace because of how much they trusted the Lord. Their focus was on what grandmommy was doing in heaven and how she was now healed, not on the negatives down here on earth.
I wonder how many of us are so focused on our everyday worries, big or small, instead of heaven. I wonder how much we truly trust God or if we just say it.
I want that peace that they had. I crave it. My mind fills with worries so much that I have panic attacks. So, how do they do it? How do they handle all of life’s hardships and just be okay?
They trust. They have faith. They practice trust and faith. They pray and talk to God daily. Meditating with Him in quiet time they listen to their Father. All of that is easy to say, but it’s harder to live out.
Does heaven fill your thoughts, or do everyday worries overtake them?
After watching my husband’s family go through the loss of their matriarch, I had to take a long hard look at my own thoughts. I had to admit that maybe I don’t trust God as much as I would like to. I had to confront the fact that my thoughts ARE filled with more worries than with thoughts of heaven.
Change our thinking
One thing I notice about my own thinking is that thoughts are habitual. If I start thinking one way, then my mind quickly spirals into worry, concern, and overwhelm. It’s important to recognize these habits that our brains are in and to start to try and break them. For example, my biggest thought that sends me into a spiral is ‘I can’t handle this.’ Meaning that mentally or in the situation, I can’t do what I’m about to have to go through- whether that is a physical sensation (being full) or an actual event (like eating dinner). Find that thought of yours and start writing things that you can say back to yourself. For me, I’ve written things like, “God made you resilient and strong. You are God’s child. God is with you right now as you go through this.” Adding in things like this to our thinking will start to form new patterns so that we can focus our thinking on heaven, not on our daily worries.
Set up a routine that puts God first
I hate to even write this, but I’ve only been consistently doing a bible study and devotional since the spring of 2019. And I only started doing it when I was at the lowest point in my ED. When I knew that I couldn’t do this life on my own, nor could I get better on my own, that’s the point where I finally started letting God in and letting Him speak to me and guide me. (Read my testimony here!)
I hope that you don’t let yourself get as far down as I was, but even if you do, know that God is there waiting with open arms, ready to help you.
First thing, DAILY, wake up with God. Set aside 15-20 minutes to do your bible study and your prayer time. I also set aside 10 more minutes to sit in quiet time with God. Putting Him first, every day is so important to building your relationship with the Lord because it shows reverence towards Him, and it sets your mind up to be thinking about Him throughout your day.
There is such PEACE when you start your day out like this instead of when you start your day out with social media or emails. When we do this, our focus is on EARTHLY worries, not heaven. We will never get the peace God promises if we don’t change our habits and our mindsets to glorify Him, not us.
Listen to Instructions and Follow Through
When we open up to God and we start reading His Word consistently and talking with Him, then He will start speaking to us more clearly. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will speak to reassure us and give us loving words of encouragement. Other times, the Holy Spirit gives us instruction and tells us to do something.
It is SO important to follow through when the Holy Spirit tells us to do something, even if it makes us uncomfortable or if it’s not something that we want to do. I remember when the Holy Spirit told me to start writing this blog. I thought that it was crazy. “Me??? God, do you realize how messed up I am?”
And He told me that that is why He had picked me. He was going to use all of my struggles and heartache to speak to other Christian women. So yes, God is using me because I am not perfect. He is using me in spite of everything that I have suffered through. And I am SO happy that I listened to His instruction and put myself out there. I was terrified of the judgment of others, and yet I still did it.
Sometimes He asks us to do BIG things, and other times He asks us to do small things. Weirdly, I have a harder time doing the small things than the big things. The small things can seem like inconveniences. For example, I was told one day, very clearly, to cook my husband dinner. I was annoyed and I didn’t do it. Turns out, he had had a really rough day at work, he was exhausted and he just wanted to sit down. (In my home, my husband cooks dinner!)This turned into an argument in my home. We were both tired and hungry. See, if I had just followed the instruction of the Holy Spirit, we both would have been in a good place that night. Instead, I didn’t follow this small instruction and it led to bitter words and hurt feelings.
No matter how you feel about the instruction, you do it anyway. Our feelings don’t matter when we are asked to do something by God. I pray daily for God to guide my actions, words, and thoughts. I pray for Him to speak to me clearly so that I can do His will! I tried living life my own way… and I ended up in an Eating Disorder treatment facility scared of food, my body, and my own mind. I don’t want to go back there! It is essential that I listen to God and learn to trust Him more and more.
Know that it doesn’t happen overnight
It takes time to build your mind to trust God like this. I look at my mother-in-law and these other family members, and I could easily start to get jealous or bitter. I could start to compare and look down on myself. God doesn’t want that for me either! He wants me to see the example that’s right in front of me: that trusting Him will give me peace that is unimaginable. He wants me to follow THIS example in life, not the world. He wants my thoughts centered on Him, not earthly things.
So, every day, we have a choice. We can choose to trust Him and walk in His way and do our best to focus our minds on Him. Or, we can choose to follow the example of the world and worry, fret and freak out.
I want my life to model this peaceful example of Christian women that God has put in my life. I want that overwhelming peace that puts all of my daily worries into perspective. I want to trust God so much that I rejoice in ALL circumstances.
Daily, we must keep reading our bibles and praying and talking to God. We must continue to speak back to our thoughts and fight until new thinking habits are formed. We have to fight our way out of this worldly thinking so that we can live how God meant us to live: focused on Him, not on earthly worries.
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I am always praying for you,
