“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” – Song of Songs 4:7
Language is such an important part of our lives. As a teacher, I know this first hand. I had a teacher recently send me notes that other students wrote about me in a discussion post online. “Mrs. Shue is my favorite teacher because she doesn’t ever yell at us. She has a conversation with us. She tells us what we did wrong and we talk about how to fix it. She’s really nice.”
When I read it, I was a little confused. Don’t other teachers do these things? Other teacher’s yell at their students? Other teacher’s don’t have conversations with their students about their behaviors and come to a solution about fixing it? Why is a student’s bar set so low for a teacher?
There was nothing in there about the cool lessons or activities. There wasn’t anything in there about how much I had taught them.
Instead, that note was full of 3 very important things that we need to constantly remember. How we speak is important. What we say is important. Boundaries are important and necessary.
Think back to the last conversation that you had with someone you loved. How did you speak? How did they speak? What did you both say? Were any boundaries broken?
When the people that we love and listen to are speaking to us in a degrading way, we probably think that it is okay. Even normal. But it’s not. No one needs to be yelled at, or talked down to. Not middle school students, not you, not anyone.
The people that we listen to in our lives need, at minimum, to be speaking to us with love. That means speaking to us with patience and kindness, with understanding and gentleness.
If the people that you love and listen to aren’t speaking to you with words of love, then why are you letting them have any power over your life? These people need to be weeded out as much as possible!
We need people who are encouraging and supportive, not degrading, in our lives.
We have to be diligent in listening to what others are saying to us. Because you know what? Their opinions about what you are doing with your life don’t matter. Their opinions on your looks, your actions, your decisions don’t matter in the slightest. The ONLY one who’s opinion matters is God.
We need to be listening to GOD, not the other people around us who are living lives that are not supportive of God’s values and ideals.
If any person is telling us that we aren’t beautiful or worthy, then we need to stop listening to them. Their opinion of us doesn’t need to be at the forefront of our thought. Impressing them doesn’t then need to become our life’s mission. Someone not liking us is OKAY! Someone talking down to us doesn’t need to erase our truth. And our truth is that we are beautiful and worthy. And our evidence is God’s Word. What higher authority is there than that?
Let’s take this a step further. Are our thoughts full of love towards ourselves?
If our thoughts are telling us that we aren’t beautiful and worthy, then those are not thoughts from the Father. Instead, those are the thoughts placed there by the enemy, meant to degrade you and keep you from your purpose. The enemy can be SO loud. Actively fighting the enemy with truth and praying over these thoughts is the ONLY way to conquer them. God will give you strength, and be your strength, when you decide to start fighting these self deprecating thoughts.
We have to be diligent about the words that we let into our lives, and how those words in turn define us. We have to be watchful over the people who’s opinions and words we listen to. Setting boundaries in life is SO important! We can set these boundaries with ourselves too.
We have to start with thinking that we are worthy enough to have boundaries. That we are worthy enough to be God’s beautiful and wonderful child. (To get your mind started with this, check out my FREE self confidence series.)
Because we are. We are worthy. We are beautiful. Any thought that goes against that is a lie meant to bring us down and shift our focus away from the Father.
Any person who speaks degradingly towards us is trying to keep us controlled and small. God wants us under HIS control and protection. Is there anyone in your life who makes you feel like this? Bring that person to God is prayer and ask for His help in weeding that person from your life.
Through this, you will learn boundaries. You will gain so much self-confidence and self-worth! But you have to start with what you allow in your life. And words? We can always decide which ones matter and which ones don’t. Start making those distinctions today. What words are you going to let define you? God’s or the enemy’s?
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I am ALWAYS praying for you,
