“Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.”- Deuteronomy 3:22
A product of fear is to hide. We hide behind our behaviors, our situations, our shells- just so that we don’t have to face what we are really scared of.
For those of us with eating disorders, fear rules our lives. Fear tells us where we can’t go, what we can or can’t do, what we can’t wear, and (obviously) what we can or can’t eat.
Fear is loud and stops us from doing the things that we really want to do in our lives.
Fear lies. Whenever we have thoughts like “I can’t handle this,” they are directly from the enemy. Once I realized this and really started thinking about my thoughts, I realized that it was that these thoughts were the ones that started my spiral into fear.
“I can’t handle this” is fear talking! This was my ‘crutch’ fear for a long time. This was the thought that started my spiraling thoughts almost daily. When I started taking a deep dive into what my thoughts were, what I found out that not only did I not trust myself or my own body, but I didn’t trust the Lord’s plan or His protection. The ‘I can’t handle this’ thought was a product of those beliefs about myself and the Lord.
Fear, in most of our cases, is a lack of trust. Whether it’s not trusting ourselves or not trusting God, it is still a hard pill to swallow once you realize it about yourself.
God, the creator of the universe, who knit me together in my mother’s womb, who orchestrates every breath on this earth… and I didn’t trust Him. Instead, I put up rules and walls around myself until I felt ‘safe.’ I was no longer relying on Him at all. I only relied on the rules that my fear told me to follow.
The enemy constantly tells us that we have to do things by ourselves and that we aren’t strong enough to handle the situation or emotions, so we just back down in fear. That fear puts us in a box of rules and walls that is so small and we don’t even know how we go there. The walls of that box are so confined and we want to escape but we have no clue how. To break down those box walls, we have to be wiling to beat on the box and let the light in.
It’s only by God’s strength that I was able to beat on the box. It was only by God’s power that I was able to escape the box of fear that the enemy had put me in.
There is a beautiful symbolism there- God is the light. Even in our boxes of darkness, sadness and fear, God is with us. God will sit in that box with us and encourage us for as long as we need it. We can’t sit in that box alone though, trying to handle things ourselves, we have to invite God in. God will give us the strength to let the light, the Son, into our lives.
I know that even if the thoughts are loud, the Lord doesn’t want me, or you, to live in fear. I know that even though the box may seem comfortable because it’s all that you’ve known for a long time, God didn’t create us to stay in boxes of fear, shame, guilt or sadness. He created us for a purpose! To live in true freedom with Him guiding our steps!
We can live in such fear of our feelings that when we feel an uncomfortable emotion we just want to shut it down with a behavior, whether that’s cleaning or crying or eating. So, I encourage you to feel those feelings, even fear, so that they don’t hold you hostage forever.
Feeling are fluid. They do go away once we fully lean in and feel them. Once we pray and give them to God, He will do amazing things with those scary emotions.
No matter what your enemy or emotion is right now, we are told NOT to be afraid. We have to trust that God is in control.
Our battles and fears get so all consuming and so loud in our minds that we forget who our God is! We let fear direct the actions that we take instead of God. But God says “Do not be afraid”. HE is fighting our battles. So fear…. really is a liar. Fear holds us back from our future. Fear keeps us in a box.
When fear is loud, we HAVE to start turning towards the Lord. We have to go to God and continually remember that HE is the one fighting our battles. We are not called to fight fear alone. We are called to fight with God.
So, beautiful girl, stand and fight your fear with the Lord today. No matter your enemy, you are fighting with God. God is in that battle, situation, circumstance or emotion with you right now. Are you focusing on what fear is telling you or what the Lord is telling you?
Want to read more about fear? Check out these posts:
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