“I’m fine, I just need a minute” is something that I say A LOT when things start to get loud in my head. No one wants to let others see their suffering, so instead, we tend to stuff our feelings and thoughts down just so that we can get by.
Eating Disorders are not about food. I realize that sounds very counterintuitive, but nevertheless, it is true. Eating Disorders are about traumas, emotions, grief, pain, anxiety, sadness, and control. Food is the way that people who suffer from eating disorders deal with those things.
Because our society values a set beauty standard, eating disorders are often overlooked, or even celebrated by others. Diet culture has made the deadliest mental health condition one that is very hard to recognize and even harder to get treatment for.
All of this leads to those suffering to suffer in silence. To suffer and not understand what is happening. To suffer and never be treated like someone who is really sick.
The thoughts in your head about food stem from something else. Think about what your stem is for a few minutes. For me, the root of my eating disorder was fear. That deeply rooted fear in my mind came out through a terrible panic and anxiety disorder and an eating disorder.
Until you start healing the ROOT of the problem, other problems will just keep stemming from it. Until you deal with that fear, guilt, shame, trauma, control, or whatever else might be your root, other triggers, and other problems are going to keep growing out of that issue.
That root needs to be completely pulled up and. replaced with a new bulb. How do we do that though? How do we pull up a rooted thought pattern and behavior pattern out of our minds? How do we identify the root when all we can see are the behaviors that are coming out of us.
In treatment, we did this VERY eye-opening exercise that got to that root. You can do this for any behavior or thought pattern that is negative or is causing turmoil in your life. It is not just for those suffering from eating disorders. I’m linking a free downloadable PDF here for you to try this exercise yourself. (It’s below! Just hit download!)
It was very hard to accept the root of my panic, anxiety, and ED behaviors because I never would have pinpointed that thought as my real issue!
My ending thought was “I can’t handle life and I can’t do life’s normal things” What a terrible realization to have. I didn’t trust God. I didn’t trust the creator of the universe to take care of one of his creations- me. I didn’t trust that he had created me to be a strong woman, who was resilient and could face battles and challenges. I didn’t feel worthy enough that God would listen or care about my problems.
When you put ANY of these thoughts up against God’s Word, they hold absolutely no truth. Take your paper and look through the Bible- God doesn’t want you thinking ANY of these things, much less going down the rabbit hole of thinking that leads to that root issue.
When we put our root thoughts to the truth test, we see that our mental health problems are based on seeds that have rooted themselves in our brains from the enemy’s lies.
The roots are going to be hard to pull out of your mind. As you yank on them, it’s going to hurt. It’s going to feel uncomfortable, and it’s going to feel like your world is spinning as you work to spread new seeds in your mind. Daily, you have to choose to water these seeds of Godly wisdom while simultaneously ripping out the roots that the enemy has planted.
How do you water these new seeds so that they can grow roots? Doing daily devotionals, bible studies, and affirmations are going to be key. (I’ve got resources listed below for each of these!) But you are also going to have to fight behaviors and patterns. When you feel your mind start to slip towards that pattern again, you have to start watering your Godly seeds. You have to fight against doing things the easy way, which is the enemy’s way. You have to choose daily, hourly, minute by minute to fight God’s way. There will be battles that you lose, and times when things are so hard that you want to scream and cry- and that’s okay.
When you choose to live life this way, you are choosing to live life God’s way. And God? You can trust Him to always be with you, fighting battles alongside you, filling you with love and light, and bringing you out of that darkness that the enemy has put you in. But… it is a choice. Keep that in mind when times get hard. You have to choose God every time.
I hope that this devotional was encouraging to you. I hope that you were able to see the root of your mental health.
If you want to chat, feel free to send me an email at [email protected] You can also follow me on Instagram @heightsinheels where I do bible studies and post inspirational content.
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I am always praying for you,
Helpful Resources
I Don’t Know Why I’m Doing this
100 Affirmations for Christians
The Cliff: A 15 Day Devotional for those with Eating Disorders
