Want to read my Eating Disorder Recovery story? I think that it is so important to know before we begin that I STRUGGLE just like you. But, I know that with God’s help, recovery is possible.
Matthew 18: 21- 22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to 7 times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not 7 times but 77 times.””
Why is forgiveness so hard? We all make mistakes in life: saying things we don’t mean, hurting someone’s feelings, lashing out in anger or sadness, and many many more. Yet, God forgives us daily for the things that we do that are against Him. When we lie, He forgives. When we cheat or steal, He forgives. When we gossip, He forgives. He forgives everything! And the worst part? Sometimes we keep sinning in the same ways.
Eating disorders and addictions often live in secrecy. They live in the manipulation that you play on your family daily. God sees this, knows our true selves, and forgives us. So after all of that, after all of these mistakes we’ve made, how can we still not forgive others for their mistakes?
With eating disorders and addictions, we are often so focused on ourselves, that we become the center, the most important part of our universe. We don’t care that our actions might be hurting others, or messing up the plan that they had. We just know that we need attention. (Whoa… did I go to deep there?) Even my most selfless friend that I was in treatment with couldn’t bring herself to eat even though she knew that it was hurting her relationships. What her Eating Disorder wanted was more important than anyone else.
So when others hurt our feelings, or do something else, we take it so personally that we may hold a grudge towards them for a long time. However, that is not what God teaches us to do. He tells us to forgive! We must forgive each other. We must put people’s past mistakes behind us and keep living our lives. Not forgiving is just poison that you are taking and it is not hurting the other person… only you. And honestly, if you have an eating disorder, you’ve hurt enough. Don’t let another person’s actions ruin anything about your life.
Maybe you are great at forgiving others, but you can’t seem to forgive yourself. Maybe you live in a shame cycle. God has forgiven you. Now, let go of those past mistakes and live your life free of them. Because in God’s eyes, you ARE free of them! I encourage you to view yourself through God’s eyes, which means that you are forgiven!
Forgiving others is hard, but if you work at it, and ask God to help you with it, you can learn to do it. Forgiving yourself is almost harder in a way. But God is with you always to bring you out of that shame cycle and into His light.
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