Eating Disorder Recovery- Devotionals for Women- Day 12: The Voices

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Jeremiah 17:14- “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”

Fear. My ED is a voice of pure terror that runs through my brain constantly. For some, shame, guilt, sadness or anxiety is the voice that their ED takes on. Thinking that there may be a time in the future where I don’t hear the voices anymore seems far-fetched. However, I know that the voices in my head are lying. You know that they are too, whatever form your voices say. 

But ‘the voice’ seems so logical. It can combat any truth that you try to tell it with another lie that sounds very truthful. Sometimes ‘the voice’ twists the truth into what it needs it to be. The hardest part about recovery is having ‘the voice’ in your head be so loud, and choosing to do the opposite of what it is screaming at you to do. You know the right thing to do, and you know the easy thing to do. To quiet ‘the voice’, you do the easy thing, the ED behavior. You feel this instant relief. But then, the next time you try to talk back to ‘the voice’, it’s louder and it’s even harder to do the right thing. I get it. I’m right there with you. 

Teaching your brain to do the thing that does not come naturally and it is so difficult. But the cycle that you are living in is killing you. Did you know that Eating Disorders are the deadliest of all mental health issues? You might ask yourself how you got to this place in your life, or why you returned to it. You might blame yourself, or someone else. You might even blame God for your circumstances, and all of the heartache that came along with it. 

God is not the enemy here. Blaming God is a distraction that the enemy is using to keep you from turning towards God. God is the ultimate healer. He is the ultimate savior. He can heal anyone from anything, and save anyone from anything. God’s love and God’s grace can turn it all around right this moment. 

But with that, you are going to have to work. Every time that ‘the voice’ tells you to do something, you have to continually choose to turn to God instead of the ED. You have to continually keep coming back to God daily for help. You have to make that choice. The Lord gave us this awesome gift of free will. Free will to turn to Him or to turn away from Him. Choosing to turn to the Lord when ‘the voice’ is overwhelming will bring you healing. God can quiet the mind and turn down the voices. 

I pray that you trust God to heal you and your situation today, whatever it may be. Turn to Him instead of to your behaviors. God will heal you. Your ED is only putting a temporary band-aid on a wound that is just going to burst open again. God can close that wound. God is the true healer of your problems, not your ED. 

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