Perfection isn’t attainable. In the Eating Disorder Recovery Community, we are a group that usually strives to do things perfectly. Following our new eating rules, our new plans, we hope to stay in this place of recovery where everything feels relatively easy and good.
(Please read *note* at bottom of the page before you get to far into this article!)
Or maybe that’s just me and some people I know.
When I feel fine, recovery is an easy place to stay in. The new ways of eating are easy to follow, even intuitive! But when that first unsettling emotion hits, or when a situation comes up that I am uncomfortable with, that little nudge to go back towards eating disorder behaviors is there. That little nudge that wants to push me towards something I know I can control. That little nudge that tells me restriction will feel good, that I’ll feel in control. That little nudge that tells me THIS is the solution to my problem or emotion.
Here’s the thing: those little thoughts, those little nudges aren’t ever going to go away. What makes or breaks recovery is how you react to them.
And when you hold yourself to the perfection standard of choosing the right reaction each and every time, you have set yourself up to fail.
God didn’t create you to be perfect. There is only one perfect person that has walked this planet and His name is Jesus. It isn’t you.
I’m not saying not to try and make the right choice when you get these thoughts. Obviously, do your best to make the right choice. BUT, there will be times you don’t. And instead of beating yourself up for making that choice, give yourself grace, reflect on what happened with a trusted friend, therapist, or nutritionist, and then move on.
It’s a choice to react to intrusive thoughts, but it’s also a choice of how long you let your wrong choices control you.
“So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” – Galatians 5:1
Beating yourself up over not being perfect, not doing recovery ‘perfectly’ is just chaining ourselves to another set of rules.
God, through Christ, has SET US FREE! Don’t you want to live in freedom from that bully inside your mind, demanding perfection from you in this life?
It is our job to make sure that we make the choices that will keep us free of these chains in our lives. We have to continually choose recovery, even when it’s hard. We have to choose to follow Christ’s example, even when the world isn’t. And we have to choose to give ourselves grace, even when we mess up.
God has saved us by grace. He forgives ALL of our sins when we come before Him and repent. Why can’t you forgive yourself when you mess up? The creator of the universe AND you forgive you! You have to learn to forgive yourself mistakes.
If you mess up and use a Disordered Eating Behavior, pray about it. Talk to your recovery support team about it. Talk to a Christian friend about it. But don’t leave it inside to fester. Work it out with God and then let it go.
It’s important to know WHY you are using that behavior and why you felt like you had to go to that extreme. But it’s even more important to give yourself grace. You aren’t meant to be perfect. The enemy is lying to you, manipulating you if your thoughts go this way when you make a mistake.
Please let me know how I can pray for you! Email me at [email protected]!
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*This article is not meant to be a ‘free pass’ to go back into Eating Disorder Behaviors. Instead, it’s intention is to make sure that you aren’t trading on set of chains (ED) for another set of chains (an impossible standard of perfection in recovery). If you find yourself using Disordered Eating, please talk to someone about it. Please reach out for help. My point is that recovery is not perfect. There will be hard days where you will slip and use a behavior. How you really know that you’re in recovery is if you are able to forgive yourself for it and talk to your support system about it, and then MOVE ON from the event, not live in it.
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