Stoping the Shame Spiral

Shame is the deep humiliation and embarrassment that we place on ourselves. We can be ashamed of different things in our lives: our pasts, our bodies, our mistakes, a current situation…

But the enemy will use what you are ashamed of to try and control you. To try and bring down who God wants to lift up. When we start going into the shame spiral, we have to realize who it is benefitting… because it sure isn’t us.

Psalms 34: 4-5- “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

Shame makes me feel like I want to crawl in a cave and never come out. What does shame make you feel like?

The enemy uses shame in our lives to make us feel small, weak and defeated. The enemy brings up past mistakes to make us continue to feel isolated and alone. The enemy does his best work when we are only listening to him.

Sometimes, we are so convinced of our shame, that logic, and God’s love, don’t even register to us. The enemy uses lies to manipulate us into a shame spiral, where our thoughts are so focused on ourselves, our past mistakes or maybe even a current situation, that we can’t even think straight. Our thoughts are only being controlled by that shame and fear that other people might find out and what they might think.

When we are constantly looking at ourselves, thinking about what others will think of our actions or what they will say, our focus is on the wrong thing. The constant focus on why you aren’t good enough is from the enemy. Instead our focus needs to be on why you are qualified enough, and that voice is from God. It’s quiet, still and brings peace.

God loves us so much that it is actually incomprehensible. He doesn’t care what we have done in the past. He accepts that we are all sinners and all human, made of flesh that makes earthly mistakes. God doesn’t shame us. We shame ourselves. The enemy shames us.

If the most High can forgive you, why can’t you forgive you? If the most High accepts you as you are, why can’t you accept who you were created to be? Since God created you to be perfectly you, why can’t you accept yourself?

Shame makes us think so little of ourselves, whereas God calls us to think more highly of ourselves. God wants us to be confident through HIM. He doesn’t want us to lay down and accept what the enemy is saying about us and how the enemy is interpreting our actions. God did not put you on this planet so that the enemy could tell you why you aren’t qualified.

Once we start to get over what other people think of us and instead focus on what God thinks of us, that is where we will begin to find freedom.

With a mind constantly whirling on all of the things that are wrong with you, start feeding your mind things that God says are right about you.

To stop the shame spiral, we have to start turning to God. It’s hard. I know that it’s hard to remember this when your mind is so loud and the enemy is feeding you evidence of why he is right. But we have to scream louder.

We have SO much more choice in this life than we think we do. Choosing to constantly listen to the enemy is a choice. It might not even be a choice that you know you are making at the moment. But now is the time to take stock of your thoughts. When you let the enemy’s lies tell you to stop doing something, you have chosen to listen.

Start a little tally for the next hour- how often are shame filled thoughts there? That number might surprise you.

When we starting thinking about our own thinking and the patterns that our brains fall into, we can start objectively see what our brain is doing.

If your brain has been fed shame filled thoughts for a long time, unfortunately, they aren’t going to go away overnight. However, there are steps to stop the shame spiral over the next few months. You will be amazed at the confidence boost that you will fill when you start feeding your brain faith-filled thoughts.

Steps to Halt the Shame Spiral

1. Affirmations are KEY! Every morning, you have to feed your brain good things! Where does the enemy target you the most? Now, what does God say about you? Write down 3 affirmations that FEED your brain.
2. When you hear a shame-filled thought in your head, do your best to halt it. Repeat and affirmation in your mind instead. Say a small (or BIG) prayer to the Lord. When you start to make those brain connections that shift our focus to HIM, it will change your life!
3. Take note of the actions that you are taking because of that shame filled thought. Are you feeling the urge to act on a behavior? Sit with the emotion instead. Sit and feel it. Once we stop running from shame, the less scary it will feel when it does pop up.
4. Journal as often as you can. Process your emotions. Because ALL emotions are valid. But make sure to end your journal entries with the thoughts that you WANT to have about yourself, and the thoughts that GOD has about you.

This verse gives me hope. Hope that even though I feel shame, with faith, I will be radiant. With faith, turned towards the light, I can let go of my past mistakes and my current circumstances.

God delivers. God is always there with us. God knows your emotions and why you are truly feeling them. There is no shame with God, only restoration and hope. Start turning towards Him to feel warmth in your life.

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