The Seeds of Disorder

“Don’t be misled. Remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow! Those that live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences fo decay and death. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone, especially to our Christian brothers and sisters.” – Galatians 6: 7-10 NIV

This morning, I woke up early. It’s a SATURDAY and I was up before 7 am. And I’ve had a beautiful morning with God. I read the bible, I prayed, and now I’m writing this. I also thought a lot about my niece. She’s about a year and a half old. And I LOVE this child more than any child I’ve ever encountered. She is probably my favorite human on this planet. We see my niece and my brother in law, Taylor, and my sister in law, Amy, about twice a month now. We get dinner, we play with the baby. We are closer than we’ve ever been.

See, before the birth of my niece, I really didn’t like Amy. I know that sounds really mean, but it’s true. I was extremely jealous of her because I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her- she seemed so perfect. And instead of trying to get to know her, I judged her, decided that she was better than me, and then acted pretty terribly towards her. Looking back on that time in my life, I don’t even recognize that person. But for almost 5 years, I sowed seeds of jealously, bitterness, and meanness through our relationships. Every family interaction was laced with them. But Amy? She wasn’t bitter back.

In this story, I know I’m the bad guy. I’m FAR from perfect. What changed everything was Thanksgiving 2020. My niece was 5 months old and I was finally comfortable with holding her a little. At the end of that thanksgiving dinner, she invited us over for dinner that next Friday. We went, and it has become our ‘thing’. We eat together and play with our niece every other Friday. My husband and I look forward to these dinners so much!

For 5 years, I could have built a relationship with Amy and Taylor, and yet I sowed bitterness and jealously. She kept sowing kindness. And I am so grateful that she didn’t just give the insults and the hate right back to me. I reaped what I sowed- I missed out on a relationship for 5 years. She also reaped what she sowed- she built the relationship on faith, even though she just saw a mean sister-in-law.

Throughout those 5 years, I was misled. The enemy spoke jealousy and anger and pride and so many other things into my mind about Amy, and I just believed him!

I can’t help thinking about what other relationships the enemy has misled me from.

Another big relationship that the enemy has misled me from is food. If you are on this blog, you are probably right there with me. The enemies lies about food have tarnished this life giving, needed source in our lives. And it just SUCKS. There is no other word for it. It’s terrible. It SUCKS to live in fear of something that you have to have daily to survive. It really sucks to have loud mean and scary thoughts every day because you are doing something to survive. And it sucks even more because our thoughts are so out of tune with other people’s they can’t relate to what we are fearful of at all- so our fears get brushed to the side.

We can’t ignore God for long. Being misled about our relationships by the enemy will make us make some terrible decisions in our lives. When we just look at our relationship with food, and we act on the enemy’s lies, we can’t live that way long. We have to eventually see that we can’t survive in that state of mind. Thinking in the fear state of mind is what the enemy wants. He wants us scared. Scared people do irrational things to make themselves feel safe. At my lowest, I refused to eat all but 2 foods! That’s irrational!

No matter where we are in our recovery journey, or even if we are in our lowest point of ED, we can see that we have reaped what we have sowed. We let these lies have strongholds in our minds and now we are in this terrible place that doesn’t feel escapable.

*Before I go any further, I want to make it abundantly clear that I know and understand that ED, anxiety, and depression are mental health disorders. They need medical treatment to overcome. My point is that the enemy is the one who causes the disorders in the first place. He is the one who whispers the lies that become our beliefs that become our disorders. That stronghold, overtime, changes our brain! Medical help IS needed to overcome these things!*

Our God is a God of grace and mercy. He is also the God of healing. He CAN heal you. He can heal any relationship in your life, even your relationship with food. Instead of living to please the enemy in our mind, we have to live to please the Spirit in our hearts. We have to make that choice EVERYDAY. It’s not easy living on this sinful planet. It’s not easy living with a mind full of disorder and lies that sound like truths. And yet, we are called to trust God.

When we sow seeds of trust in God, we won’t see the benefits immediately. In fact, when we choose to trust God, we are making the difficult choice. We are making the choice that will make us uncomfortable. We are making the choice that will make life harder, not easier. But, we can always be reassured that we are making the RIGHT choice, the healthy choice. We get encouragement in this passage to keep going, to never get tired of doing what is right, because we will reap what we sow.

What seeds are you sowing in your life today? What choices are you making to ensure that you reap blessing, not disorder? Only by following Jesus will we reap blessing. Only by doing what He tells us is right will we see soul fulfillment in our lives.

Living in fear of food is not what God wants for us. He made food to nourish us, not torment us. Food is a life giving force, and yet we have twisted it into something that we need control over. We don’t. We need to honor food. God put it on this planet to help us, not harm us. Even this basic thing, the enemy has ruined with his lies. Don’t be misled any longer. Food is not something to be afraid of, or to control. Food is something to nourish and enjoy. Start sowing that seed in your mind. Before every meal, thank our Father for this food. Say a quick affirmation about how food is nourishment.

The enemy is going to keep trying to sow the seeds of disorder. It is up to you to sow these new seeds of faith. You have to speak into your mind, into your life, God’s truths. If you only hear disordered thinking, then your thoughts will never change. Choose to speak truth into your life. The enemy will make you feel foolish for it, but do it anyway.

I hope that this post was a balm to your weary soul. I know how hard it is to fight ED, anxiety, and depression thoughts. Get medical help, pray for a strong team to support you, and start sowing seeds of truth by speaking truth into your life. I am always praying for you.

If you want more, join my email list below! I send out an email once a week, as well as prayer emails and freebies! Join our community now!